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Enero 13, 2006
In which I encounter numerous assholes...
Winter's been taking a break this week, with Spring filling in, so the kids and I have been out and about up Harford Rd. (to the library) and down (to the Safeway and the Red Canoe) where we encountered an unusual number of assholes. Asshole number one was the woman in the mercedes who flicked her butt out the window, along with her coffee cup and a wadded up napkin, before speeding up to run the red light at Hamilton Avenue. At least the incident afforded the children an opportunity to curse a blue streak -- they normally curb their language in public, but the outrage was apparently too much for them. Little children (5 and 8) can curse with a creative abandon unmatched by an sailor. At least, my little children can. This weekend I'm gonna swipe a gif of Woodsy the Owl and make 'Give a Hoot' tshirts for them, in honor of their performance. After the litterbug, a drunk stumbled out of Hamilton Tavern and exhaled his nasty cigarette smoke in my face before producing a mighty beer belch. Gross! But I didn't react -- I figure anyone down and out enough to be drunk at 9am has all the problems he can handle without some pregnant lady with kids hollering at him. Besides, I have a lot of drunks in my family, half of whom are estranged, and I can never be sure the drunk I encounter isn't a blood-relation. The third asshole (and we're only halfway there folks!) was some suit who stood in the middle of the sidewalk next to his suv with the flat tire haranguing some poor AAA representative. When I say the middle of the sidewalk, I mean the exact center --- no room either to his right or left. He was standing next to a bench, and his door was hanging open, so we had to squeeze in between the back of the bench and the Harford Dialysis center to get by since he ignored my repeated 'Excuse Me!'s All went well at the library, but we made the mistake of sallying forth the following day for the Red Canoe. On the way, we didn't have any up close and personal encounters with assholes, but we witnessed three of the nastiest, most aggressive drivers ever. The first, not liking that traffic was a bit slow, leaned on her horn from somewhere south of Southern Avenue and kept leaning until she was out of earshot. She could be blaring still for all I know. I got a look at her too, and, barring her facial expression, looked like someone's sweet old grandma. Which she probably is, when she's not a demon on wheels. Second and third assholes were just your typical crosswalk and crossinglight violators who would rather run over my children than stop their damn cars for two moments while we cross the street WITH THE FULL BLESSING OF THE CROSSING LIGHT. We made it safely to the Red Canoe , a haven in the wilderness to be sure.
Posted by Tansy at Enero 13, 2006 10:19 AM
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